Chapter 19: Pains and the Gains

Busy living life at its own pace, and dealing with all issues at hand one at a time, the future that my stars had lined up for me were anything but a pleasant surprise.

The blunder that was stirring up in my life was with every passing moment turning into a raging storm. Something needed to be done, and soon.

All cries of my friends were turned a deaf ear to. They seemed wrong! Telling that Lia and a I could never work it out no matter how many 'shots' we give it, no matter how many chances we took, it was a failed cause!

I knew I would prove them wrong!

Taking Lia for granted was out of the equation. Well, dating a girl who believes in getting back at wrong doers has it boons and banes.

It wasn’t the time to moan over the lost opportunities just yet! It was time to rebuild a crumbling fortress resting on the shoulders of crippled faith.

“Suraj, you know my granny tells me this very often. Lia, a relationship, no matter what kind, is a thread of silk. It’s strong, but only till the day you don’t test its strength. The day this thread gets a knot in it, it can’t be undone. It doesn’t take time for a knot to become a tangle.” lia had said once.

These words had left me with deep imprints. And what could hurt a relation more than dishonesty?

It was time to win Lia back. But first, it was time to come clean.

“Hello, Lia?” I said, over the phone. Calling her after a matter of a few weeks seemed nothing short of long ages.

“Hey, hi!” she replied, with a bit of a sigh put into it. Or so I think.

“So, how’s life?” I asked, not sure how to bring forth the question.

“Well, I’m doing great! How about you?”

“Well, Lia, it’s been long since we met. So, why don’t we catch up?” The same line over the phone lacked any punctuation marks.

“Why?” She asked, leaving me baffled. This was new!

“Why? No reason. Just felt that we both should catch up. We are two great friends indeed! Aren’t we?” I said, trying to sound as calm as possible.

“Well, if you insist. Sure, let’s meet.” She said, and kept the call, treating all the good byes and take cares as unnecessary and untouchables.

Well, we were meeting up. That was the good part of it!

After a wait of good few hours, there she was. As alluring as a daisy covered in the blooming orchids.

All had changed between then and now, when I had confessed that I loved her and ran, and when I held my car’s door for her, asking her to listen to what I had to say. Yet, all seemed more or less the same.

She seemed just as pretty, and I, just as terrified.

“Lia… I haven’t loved anyone this much in my life. I mean it love, to the depth of every single letter that I say. It’s just been a year and a half that I got you in my life, and not even a month that we split up. Yet I can’t express in words how empty I feel deep down. I have friends… family, but not you. And the world seems empty without you. I see a girl sitting in front of me in a bus and I think it’s you. I see a girl just drinking water and wiping the droplets from her upper lip with the lower one and I think no, Lia does it better. Anything I do, anyone I talk to, I cannot not think of you. I say it in all seriousness today. Lia please give me another chance to be the man you loved. I’ll do anything I possibly can.” If in the past few months I had ever said anything heartfelt and with utmost honesty, it was right now.

“Let’s think about it.” She said, with a simple smile.

Let’s think about it was good enough for now. There was no point forcing anything upon her so soon!

“But before we even think of it, there are a few things that I just have to confess.” I said, my guilt killing me at this moment.

“Okay, what is it?” She asked, as calm as a white cloud on a sunny day.

“I have written you a letter. I want you to read it. I’d give it to you tomorrow morning?”

“Sure, I’ll read it.” She said, followed by a good-bye.

Lia and I getting together was not going to happen easy. The letter was only going to make it worse. I should have known!

Nevertheless, next morning she arrived to her bus stop a few minutes early, and I was there, waiting for her.

“This is all I wanted to confess to you.” I said, handling her the piece of paper that had more than just blue ink in it. It had courage, and a lot of hope, and all the misdeeds that I had committed with Soundarya and Advita.

She went on reading it with no sign of dismay or no indication of pain. After a few minutes of reading, with her eyes fastened on me, she shredded the paper into pieces.

The last time that one of us had written a confession to the other one, it was her. I tore the paper and burnt the pieces there, followed by a long lasting session of kissing and forgiving each other. I wasn’t very sure if that’s what was in line today.

Her college bus was in sight now, and she easily sensed my eagerness for her reply.

“It doesn’t matter what you did. I don’t love you anymore Suraj. Take the hint.” She said, looking dead straight in my eyes.

Her bitter than a snake bite smile wiped away any traces of hope that were left in me.

I knew that the path I had now decided to walk on would not be just sunshine and rainbows. But least did I know that the boulevard I had walked on with her for so long would soon be voided with broken dreams, literally.

To think of it, did I not deserve the pain and the agony that was patiently waiting for me?

Nonetheless, I had now pledged to show Lia what she meant to at least one person on the planet and put all I had in me, to get her back.

Now nothing could come in my way.